Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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