Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
My legs feel like baby dolphins
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
