I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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