four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
