I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
