I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
