That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
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It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
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The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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