I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
