Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
