I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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