this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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