God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
the day after is always just damage control
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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