I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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