did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize