i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
