my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
