who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I said "one day" and that day is not today
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
