pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
A+ Viking dick
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
