you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
