Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
