"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Randomize