I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
