my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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