I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
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