I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
