wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
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