): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Randomize
