i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
