Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
