omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
