so explain again why im purple
no
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Houston, we have a blender
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize