he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
