oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.