You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
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I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.