So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize