omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
It's official drugs can't kill me
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
