i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
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You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
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You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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