I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
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The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
The beers last night were like the tears from god
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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