i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
false alarm. still invincible.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
