I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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