what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Randomize
