while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
