Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
