Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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