I just pynch a tree in the face
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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