OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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