When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Operation Purity has been aborted
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Randomize
