i jhust puked up my retainher.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Randomize
