wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Randomize
