He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
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I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
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So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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