We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
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We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
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There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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