I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
