why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Can Purell be used as lube?
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I think your dad took our porno
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
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