Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize