Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
