You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
