All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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