White coat. Heels.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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