with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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