I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
