Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
