i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
